Of course, if you’ve already been married for a while, you might be feeling
like you’re losing the spark or that you could be doing more to show your
spouse that you love them.
Here are some ideas for those that have already been married for a while
and want to remind their spouse how much they love them.
• Keep a gratitude journal – Write down all of the things that you love
about your spouse every day for a month or so. When you’ve gotten
to the end of the month, write, “Will you marry me…again?” on the last
page and wrap up the journal to give to your spouse.
• Create a photo slide show of your marriage – With digital pictures and
simple programs, you can even set your life to music.
• Take a picture of the two of you at your wedding and one more recent
picture and place them into a picture frame with two frames. Wrap
this up and present it to your spouse as a reminder of where you
began and where you are now. If you can find a frame with another
place for a picture, write the words, “Here’s to more of us.”
• Recreate your wedding day on a smaller scale – By inviting old
wedding guests and getting the same cake as you had on your special
day, have a renewal of vows for you and your spouse. If you can find
the original minister - all the better. If your spouse doesn’t mind
being surprised, try to keep it a surprise.
Every day, you can celebrate the wedding and the memories that brought
you together.
• Tell your own versions of how you met
• Talk about the first time that you told each other, “I love you.”
• Share your love stories with your family
4 – WHEN YOU’RE ON VACATION
Too often in our lives, we become distracted by things that happen. We let
work take over, responsibilities take over, and our relationships can suffer.
Instead of letting your love go to the back burner, why not take your love on
vacation with you?
• Call ahead to any restaurants that you might go to – Make sure they
have your partner’s favorite dishes and that you can have a special
dessert or other food brought out when you’re there.
• Try to arrange for the same room as a previous vacation – But when
you arrive at the room, pretend like you don’t notice. If your partner
doesn’t notice, then point out the room and tell him/her that you just
wanted to remind them that you loved them – then and now.
• Do two things that you would never do on your own, but your partner
would love to do – For example, if your partner likes to line dance, go
line dancing. If your partner wants to learn how to scuba dive, then
go do that. By showing that you support every part of them, you’re
telling them that you love them again and again.
• Have a basket of your favorite lotions and massage oils sent ahead to
your hotel room to help liven up your romantic evenings – When the
basket is there when you arrive, it shows that you’ve thought ahead to
your time together.
Being apart is hard for any relationship – new or old – but taking the time to
connect with your partner will help you feel closer rather than further apart.
5 – WHEN YOU’RE FAR AWAY
There are times when you will be separated from your partner – a business
trip, a family emergency, etc. In those times of separation, it can help to
show your partner that you really care about them.
• Call them each night – Simply talking to your partner each night or
once a day will help you stay connected and show that they’re the
most important person in your life.
• Send them small trinkets – Small, unexpected things from your trip
will show your partner that you were thinking of them.
• Come home when you say that you will – When your partner misses
you as much as you miss them, be sure that they always know when
you’re going to be home and if there are any changes in that plan.
• Be happy to talk with them – Even if you’re tired and jet lagged, be
sure that you smile when you talk to your partner on the phone. This
will sound like heaven to their ears.
6 – WHEN YOU ADOPT
Adding to your family is an exciting time – no matter how it happens.
When you’ve decided to adopt a child, you might have already been
struggling with fertility issues that have been tough on your relationship –
what better time to show your partner that you love them?
Here are some ways:
• Give your partner a photo album or a photo frame to start collecting
pictures of your new family.
• Purchase a book that you can fill in to create a family history of this
new family that is coming together.
• Make a date to travel to your child’s country of origin on the same day
each year.
• Talk about your plans to adopt and write out the story that brought
you into the decision to adopt. You can give this to your child when
they get older.
John and Julie have a special date each year that their daughter was
adopted. They spend the day with their daughter at her favorite place – the
park. And while this sounds like it would be more of a date for the daughter,
it’s a celebration for the entire family unit.